Full stop at 5:47 AM.
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Thursday, August 05, 2010
Full stop at 11:32 PM.
my son
here's a dream two nights ago.
I'm just released from jail. Not sure why I went to jail in the first place. When I'm out of jail, I found out from someone that I have a 12-year-old son. So i went to (my?) house and found my son there. My son greeted me with courtesy. I think my son is polite to me, but not close to me at all.
the rest of dreams is me working the whole day feeling very tired and unhappy. I have to wait for train for a long time too. When i go home i have to take care of my son and do housework. My son talks on the phone to his father everyday. I have no idea who is his father though.
Then someone told me at least his father calls him everyday. Not like me, who don't even bother to call him. That's why I'm not close to him.
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Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Full stop at 8:34 AM.
Shopping
A big dream, but I can only remember the part just before I wake up now.
I went to a grocery shop with xy, we are friends. We were looking at things by ourselves separately. He bought something, but I bought nothing. Later, he gave me one bag then he has to leave hurriedly already. I think there were pens and stationaries and shampoo inside the bag.
Emotion is strange. In the dreams I started crying. Then my alarm went off.. I didn't feel like waking up because I still want to look at what will happen next, but I have lab to rush for.
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Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Full stop at 7:43 AM.
Revival
The last post is August 15, 2009? That means this blog has been neglected for almost half a year! Let me try reviving it.
As I've noticed, the trends of my dreams has changed recently. Maybe I've changed. If I've changed, I think I've changed for the worse. Changed to become the kind of person that more people dislike. I think the inner me changed.
From the surreal and supernatural type , slowly becoming more and more realistic and looks like a replay of everyday life. Till the extent I sometimes have to think twice whether an event has really happened, or is it just in my dream. Some dreams just feel so real. I guess, I'd prefer to have the dream where zombies are chasing me or dreams that leave me waking up with strange feelings, than to have dreams that make me feel inferior and lousy about myself.
In fact, some dreams in the past were rather meaningful, and touching. It's like watching a movie. If I'm a scriptwriter, a bulk of my inspriations would come from my dreams. Some dreams leave me thinking, some give me tears. Maybe it's a form of flow of emotion. Generally, dreams will more or less reflect my state of emotion.
Let me recall the major recurring themes in my dreams at different stages of my life.
1) Dancing
One of the most vivid theme ever remembered, though not necessarily the most frequent occurance. Maybe because it's unique. At least 3 or 4 dreams related to dancing in a short period of time during my JC days, usually ballad. Events met in those dream related dreams include getting killed by best friend, revived by Doraemon, getting insulted by dance mates, admiring other dancers. Why the recurrance of dancing? JC days was probably the more 'artistic' days of mine, and perhaps coupled with some other random emotions associated in that period. If there is an opportunity, I would like to try dancing in the future.
2) Exams
Perhaps one of the common themes dreamt by Singaporean kids. I think most Singaporean kids are obsessed concerned with exams and results. Definitely many had experiences like me, where you dream of failing your strongest subject, seeing a list of E8 and F9 on the result slip. I've also dreamt of exam questions which make no sense. Like 'Explain how is steel manufactured' and 'Describe the role of Chua Chu Kang Town Council' on the General Paper Exam. Other exam related dreams include not being able to see the questions properly because it's printed in small and light coloured fonts; being late for exams; falling asleep throughout the exam; or don't know how to do the questions in the paper. Nothing much to read into those dreams, I guess. It's just exam anxiety.
3) Supernatural
To talk about supernatural dreams, I would take the telephone ghost dream as one of the best scripted dream. I've mentioned some dreams are touching, and this is one of it, because it involves many emotions. I've been warned by many people not to trust the phone ghost, and I'm actually afraid of it. In the end I requested that the ghost just appear to talk to me because I don't want to waste my talk-time. So I'm always talking to the ghost while pretending to talk on the phone. In the end we became close friends. However, someone subdued the ghost to save me. And the ghost became bad and went around scaring people. All sorts of mixed feelings comes with it. Another similar dream, would be the small create Q who followed around me in the zombie killing process and helped me here and there, in the process, a very strong bond is formed and it hurts to break.
In fact, most of my supernatural dreams are very long, and rather complete with a proper ending and something for you to think about. Sometimes it involves fighting zombies, running away, using wit to get around danger. One interesting dream noted is 'Human Greed creates Zombie City', where the zombies in the arcade game created free tokens in the machine. When people start playing it, they'll start coming out. Everyday this repeats, and eventually all swarm of zombies are created. Evil indeed, but it's created by us human. Sometimes dreams also involves listening to people's advices, heeding advices, and regretting it. Perhaps those dreams are meant to teach me a lesson.
4) Music
Not surprising to have music-related dreams, because music holds strong links with my emotions. Had many dreams related to musical competitions like SYF or auditions. Those are pretty similar to 'Exams', because its just strange events happening to make me underperform. Occassionally I also get comments like 'You think you're talented in music but you're not.'. Sometimes such dreams make me doubt my own abilty. Sometimes it motivates me to train harder, sometimes it makes me feel like giving up everything. Other music related dreams includes seeing someone play an original composition on the piano and I'm trying to memorize everything. When I woke up, I attempted to play it again and it sounded nice.
Other music related dreams involves looking at others play music and learning from them secretly. Those kind of dreams are rewarding because it gets me into the mood of figuring out techniques and strives for perfection. Motivating indeed.
5) Taekwondo
Yes it's a recurring dream, but not constrained within one period. The most recent dream related to Taekwondo is probably last week. Generally involves taking part in tournaments, and random observations that occurs in the hall or training sessions. In the most recent dream, I had to go for the tournament before going for grading. Someone taught me a new technique before the tournament and I won it. However, I failed the grading because I forgot the basics. However, most of the dreams related to taekwondo will make me wake up feeling disheartened and weak. Nevertheless, Taekwondo is not something I'm very proud of, because I'm not good at it. But it's just my childhood passion. Has the passion ever died?
6) Crime
Interestingly, I have many dreams related to being the justice side and the crime side. I guess all those fancy events came from the Hong Kong dramas I watched. Most of the time it's rather emotional as well, when I form bonds with people from the 'bad' side. Sometimes it just involves people hunting me down for don't know what reasons, and they are equiped with guns. So it's like a hide-and-seek game.
7) People I know
Of course. But I think it's not special to talk about. It can be school life, work life, whatever. Sometimes it involves not meeting expectations of teachers, being left out by friends (being in a group of friends but ignored), people who are important to me leaving me or say hurtful stuff to me, nostalgic old times. Well I better stop before I stop quoting names.
8) Death
I had dreamt of my own death several times. Especially recurring during my JC days too. I guess my JC days was the peak of my dream adventure. Involves suicide, getting killed by best friend/mother.. There's even one night where I died three times. Also involves death of people I know too, and people who are close to me. Death is a serious thing, it means no more hope of anything. Perhaps it's asking me to start treasuring my own life and the people around.
This can go on and on and I won't be able to stop. It's the first time I've attempted to summarize major themes in my dreams and it's a pretty rewarding process, because many dreams are meant to teach me a lesson. Of course, some details were omited due to them being too personal. If I wish to return to this post to update, I will.
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Saturday, August 15, 2009
Full stop at 7:54 AM.
dreams update
I'm going to talk about a few dreams..probably from the most recent
1) i go out with ah gang, went to some shopping mall. We were eating in a cafe, and we also ordered mango dessert to share (this is true in real too). I said I'm going to the washroom and asked them to go ahead first. In the end, I went to some HDB block downstairs to do painting job. I have to paint some yellow strips on the pillars and walkways. I took a long time to finish painting, and my mood was quite bad. After I finish painting the yellow strips, I fell asleep in my dreams. haha.. Its quite interesting to dream that u're sleeping isn't it? When i wake up, I have to paint blue strips. Just as i am about to start, i saw ah gang walking past. They were quite surprised to see me there painting, and surprisingly, they did not realize my absence all the while.
2) It makes me feel terrible to recall this dream, so I would rather not write.
3) The setting looks like Bugis, along Rocher Road. Everyone look nervous and terrified by something. I learnt that there's terrorist attack in that area. *I forgot one big chunk of the story* .. I know there's a person carrying a heavy gun trying to attack a random passer-by (somehow, i can foresee the future). I got a policeman to come with me to stop the attack. I felt timid.
Me and the policeman managed to spot the attacker and stopped the tragedy. However, I sensed that there is a room in the HDB flat which contains a lot of heavy explosive materials. It is the storeroom where the terrorists keep their stuff. I told the policemen, and we formed a team to go up and investigate. The unit number is #03-07 (that is the unit number used in sean's ghost film production). We were all wearing bullet-proof vests. We managed to stack the explosive sacks and stuff together. We have to be very careful, else we will risk losing our lives.
Suddenly, one of them shouted and said we must all evacuate the place immediately, because one of the explosive material from within is lighted up already. All of us began running for our lives, just run as far as possible. I run very hard too, until suddenly, i hear the female cop say lie down! So I lie on the floor and wait for the explosion to be over.
After these events, I became a policewoman.
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Saturday, December 20, 2008
Full stop at 8:06 PM.
Save it!
this is quite a messy dream, with a lot of happenings. maybe i should give an overall gist of the dream first. There's a dinosaur, who is good. There's some evil beings out there who are out to snatch the dinosaur. The good ones came to save the dinosaur. I believe the evil beings are not human, but they sometimes transform into human form to trick us. So the good ones will go around trying to shoot the evil ones.. Sometimes, the evil ones are like the monstors from House of the Dead 4.
During the dream, i play the roles of the different characters. Sometimes the good ones, sometimes the evil ones, sometimes the dinosaur, but one thing in common is I need to survive, and get what i need. (for the case of the good ppl, save the dinosaur. for evil ppl, steal the dinosaur. As the dinosaur, try to run away from the evil people).
We are just running around everywhere. Sometimes it feels like a game, sometimes it feels like a movie, sometimes it feels real. We were at aeroplane, train, storeroom, grassland, and other strange places.
The story started off with the dinosaur becoming small, and transform into some strange and small creature. Something that don't look like dinosaur la. when it is in the train/aeroplane, it will transform to this thing and tries to escape. In fact the story starts and end with this scene.
As the good person.. i also tried to shoot down the enemy. Sometimes, i spit at them, and my spits are so powerful =p .. sometimes i blow at them too..
As the evil one.. I am the evil boss.. I transformed myself into human form. I think my name become Mr Hannah. The good ppl suspected that i am the monster.. I went in to one cabin and hid under the blanket. The good one followed and search my room. I think my tail came out.. So the good person gave me a slash..
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Full stop at 7:21 AM.
What does it mean?
the dreams i had for the past few days are quite tramatizing. i keep thinking about it.
first day: -
i can't remember the details already. I think its some kind of some of my relatives quarelling and shouting around. Later, i learnt that my cousin (Yang Yi) had passed away. I don't know why. I also saw my mother, my aunts... but i forgot what they are doing.
second day: -
i think i had a lot of dreams that day. But i only remember two incidents.
1) Mei Hui passed away. that is completely tramatising. I don't know why either. In my dream i also looked at her blog, and there were hints of suicides. So we guessed that she probably did that. How did she do it? 2 possiblities. One is hanging.. She mentioned some nooze in the blog and some pictures (in real life i saw that picture before. Its from the game Ghostscape). Second method, she used some wires to tie her neck and there's blood oozing out (this scene is from Forensic Heroes, where the suspect killed himself this way). Oh its so gross. I looked for daRt, and we saw mei hui scolding us. The setting is Zhonghua Secondary School.
2) Another person also died. She's from the CO, also yangqin player. She is my so-called 'mother' because she treats me well. sighs, we also don't know why she suddenly died, but from the info we collected from her friends and the CO members, it seems that she is suddenly very nice to everyone before her death..Seems like she had predicted this?
these dreams are too scary. i can't sleep just now because i was thinking about it.
perhaps its telling me life is so fragile? What if we leave in regrets?
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Friday, November 14, 2008
Full stop at 5:45 AM.
all these dreams
a lot of dreams update:
Dream 1
this dream is about geyao. there is a new girl. its at night. this new girl is a keyboardist, so they ask me to go teach her a bit.. it turns out that she did not know how to play keyboard at all, have to learn from scratch. teach teach teach i suddenly become impatient. though she is still new to keyboard, she is very ambitious. she wants to take up 3 items for the performance. i saw sean somewhere, and he said something..... then i saw xuanyu. oh. actually there's a lot of happenings. at the last part of the dream, yu ching told me that i'm not good enough for the performance, so she decided to let the new girl take up the songs instead.
Dream 2
that is the day before my circuit presentation. (its the second day after i had dream 1). ha, i dreamt of yu ching again! is she some sort of authoritive figure that i perceive? she's one of the "examiners" who will be testing my circuits. i saw angeline too. she brought a small chicken along with her circuit. ok everything doesn't make sense. hah..
Dream 3
what? its something related to geyao too. i saw yu ching and xuan yu.
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