Full stop at 5:06 AM.
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Friday, June 20, 2008
Full stop at 8:40 AM.
its all about the feelings
brief description:
dream 1: we're in a supermarket and he keeps eating. all the time he's eating and ignores me. i didn't feel very good.
and i recalled something. some squeezy suffocated feeling when i'm feeling upset, in several dreams. it feels very familiar.
dream 2: i can't remember the original story. i can only remember this part. we found this villian's house. looking for the secret passage. flipped a coin and the secret door spins open and close. it isn't even surprising. because it looks just like the secret passage in any drama. the redundant scene of putting in the extra piece of the painting to complete the picture. once we stepped into the secret door. we fell into a bottomless pit. its bottomless! because we kept falling and feeling scared. if we tries to touch something, some recorded voice will start laughing to make us feel more scared so that we will lose the hold and continue falling. i told him that don't be scared because otherwise we're falling for the trick. still, both of us continued to fall. the thought that i'm going to die.
maybe, dream 2 is also saying i'm falling into a bottomless pit.
in dream 1, i know who is the other person. in dream 2, i don't know who is he.
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Monday, June 09, 2008
Full stop at 12:40 AM.
similar dreams
i have dreams that made me scared for the past 2 days. but shouldn't say they are scary dreams.
Dream 1
last night's dream is long! wow it can even continue when i am semi-conscious. because my mother was making some noise and i'm awake already. so the later part of the dream may not really be the dream, rather i'm imagining it continue happening?
i think the first part is introduction. two people are blessed by something, such that everything in their life will go very smoothly. the guy is CXG and the woman is RS. don't bother about the names. apparently, the woman is more blessed than the guy. she became very very rich and she has alot of golds. by the way its a semi-古装 setting. it feels quite weird actually. RS is very happy about her wealth and i think she became quite arrogant about it. CXG is also quite blessed in his career. if i'm not wrong he's working in some starch company. (hahaha, i never heard of a starch company in real life before. maybe talking too much about photosynthesis during tuition). before he is working here, he worked in some other lower-class company. and he is being promoted to some senior position now. obviously its the result of that don't know what thing that is blessing him. feels evil. after the promotion, he decided to resign and returns to his previous company.
then now i realized that something is like a 小鬼. they will approach people to bless, however if you are blessed by this thing, it will soon ask you back for something. the more it blesses you, the more demanding is the price you need to repay. however, overall you will not be at the losing end. because the thing they demand as a repay is one-time off and they are usually not that expensive. however you may need some efforts to get hold of the stuff.
back to the case of the two people. RS became more greedy and wanted more and more of the wealth. when the creatures came to ask for the repay, it became impossible for her to achieve it and i think she came to some bad end. CXG considered the consequences long ago. he predicted that the creatures would want some of the tools to manufacture starch. and these tools are only available in the previous company that he worked in! the new company he worked in imported the products from this. and yes the creatures really wanted those and they were satisfied. CXG came to a good end and the creatures continued blessing him.
for some reason i'm not sure why omg i'm blessed by this thing. of cos i know the consequences. of course i wouldn't want to follow RS's footsteps.
i forgot about the part where i was blessed. i only remembered the part where they sent me the letter asking me to repay them. 'oh no this day finally came'. in the letter i need to get three objects for them. they were quite nice to include some hints on where to get these objects. but there is a strict time limit.
i really don't know why. i wasted a lot alot of time watching mobtv instead of going out to look for the 3 objects. when i suddenly became nervous about it, the time left was really very little. i started looking for the 3 objects.
1st object: some funny funny looking lamp. they indicated that this lamp would be sold in novena square. either the shop name of the name of the lamp is Vira....[bla] ( i don't know how to spell). yay i saw the lamp. it cost about $50+ . i told the shop person that i want to buy this lamp, very very urgently. however they ran out of stock and they would deliver it to my house in 2 days. now i'm stuck, should i get them to send it to my house or should i just give them the address of the creatures? oh no but i don't have their address! i need to ask them for it first. i stupidly said that i would think over it first and i would come back later.
-i forgot what is the 2nd object, update if i ever recall-
3rd object: some pink colour keychain, with a picture of a dinosaur inside. (the dinosaur looks about like xiaoyu, but a bit more yellowish in colour). i don't know where to get this! you know what? it seems like the list of objects is always changing. sometimes there is hints, sometimes you will only find out the hints very late. when i find out the hint (get it from chinatown), i really had very little time left. headed to chinatown, wasted some time before it.
i think the main thing inside this is about wasting alot of time before i realize what's going on.
because of the very very rushed feeling, i felt like giving up a lot of times. most of the times i'm communicating with weiyu. she told me about the terrible consequences if i didn't manage to give them the objects they want. [she knew of a friend, xh, who suffered that. she had to wear an electric top whole day for more than 1 week. its a torture. alot more and i forgot]. i kept worrying about that but i kept wanting to give up.
some scenes were repeated to emphasize my anxiety.
no ending. through the journey i had the mixed feeling. to be continued?
Dream 2
a long dream, but i would just briefly describe. actually i watched the 'Healing Hands' too much that i dreamt about the characters at least twice already.
typical dream of feeling being unfairly treated and the 'why me!?'
i was accused of killing a baby because i didn't keep to the timing accurately to feed him. i was supposed to feed him once every 4 hours but i fed him again around 3+ hours after i last fed him. the baby's skin become plastic. soon it looks like a doll.
the father came angrily and asked me to kill myself to atone for that. i said i didn't want to die. i began to think about everything in life that i want to live for. this moment feels real because the things i thought about were real stuff. i hoped my mother would help me but apparently she felt that i deserved this because i killed the baby.
i began to think hard and i wanted to defend myself. i start to convince myself that i'm not the one who killed the baby. are you sure feeding the baby a bit earlier will cause him to die?! i asked the father is there any other suspects who might have cause this on his child. surprisingly, he listed 6 other suspects. hey, its not even confirmed how the child died and he wants me to die?! he says he don't care, he just wants me to die first before he would settle any other things. i felt angry, why did he not question the other suspects or ask them to die, but he only did this to me.
he gave me two choices. either i can jump down the building or i can cut my wrist. (coincidentally i was thinking about this before i sleep. haha.. i was thinking that cutting wrist is a bad method to commit suicide because its painful and it might not be successful. if you jump down the building you would have to suffer 1 min of fear during the falling before you die painfully. aiyo so scary.. lol i don't know why suddenly i think about this before i sleep. don't get the wrong idea though =p )
this dream has no ending as well. i just woke up feeling angry (about being unfairly treated) and scared(because i just have to die).
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add on: i dreamt of my mother scolding for these two days too! somewhere between these dreams i think. haha
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