Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Revival
The last post is August 15, 2009? That means this blog has been neglected for almost half a year! Let me try reviving it.
As I've noticed, the trends of my dreams has changed recently. Maybe I've changed. If I've changed, I think I've changed for the worse. Changed to become the kind of person that more people dislike. I think the inner me changed.
From the surreal and supernatural type , slowly becoming more and more realistic and looks like a replay of everyday life. Till the extent I sometimes have to think twice whether an event has really happened, or is it just in my dream. Some dreams just feel so real. I guess, I'd prefer to have the dream where zombies are chasing me or dreams that leave me waking up with strange feelings, than to have dreams that make me feel inferior and lousy about myself.
In fact, some dreams in the past were rather meaningful, and touching. It's like watching a movie. If I'm a scriptwriter, a bulk of my inspriations would come from my dreams. Some dreams leave me thinking, some give me tears. Maybe it's a form of flow of emotion. Generally, dreams will more or less reflect my state of emotion.
Let me recall the major recurring themes in my dreams at different stages of my life.
1) Dancing
One of the most vivid theme ever remembered, though not necessarily the most frequent occurance. Maybe because it's unique. At least 3 or 4 dreams related to dancing in a short period of time during my JC days, usually ballad. Events met in those dream related dreams include getting killed by best friend, revived by Doraemon, getting insulted by dance mates, admiring other dancers. Why the recurrance of dancing? JC days was probably the more 'artistic' days of mine, and perhaps coupled with some other random emotions associated in that period. If there is an opportunity, I would like to try dancing in the future.
2) Exams
Perhaps one of the common themes dreamt by Singaporean kids. I think most Singaporean kids are obsessed concerned with exams and results. Definitely many had experiences like me, where you dream of failing your strongest subject, seeing a list of E8 and F9 on the result slip. I've also dreamt of exam questions which make no sense. Like 'Explain how is steel manufactured' and 'Describe the role of Chua Chu Kang Town Council' on the General Paper Exam. Other exam related dreams include not being able to see the questions properly because it's printed in small and light coloured fonts; being late for exams; falling asleep throughout the exam; or don't know how to do the questions in the paper. Nothing much to read into those dreams, I guess. It's just exam anxiety.
3) Supernatural
To talk about supernatural dreams, I would take the telephone ghost dream as one of the best scripted dream. I've mentioned some dreams are touching, and this is one of it, because it involves many emotions. I've been warned by many people not to trust the phone ghost, and I'm actually afraid of it. In the end I requested that the ghost just appear to talk to me because I don't want to waste my talk-time. So I'm always talking to the ghost while pretending to talk on the phone. In the end we became close friends. However, someone subdued the ghost to save me. And the ghost became bad and went around scaring people. All sorts of mixed feelings comes with it. Another similar dream, would be the small create Q who followed around me in the zombie killing process and helped me here and there, in the process, a very strong bond is formed and it hurts to break.
In fact, most of my supernatural dreams are very long, and rather complete with a proper ending and something for you to think about. Sometimes it involves fighting zombies, running away, using wit to get around danger. One interesting dream noted is 'Human Greed creates Zombie City', where the zombies in the arcade game created free tokens in the machine. When people start playing it, they'll start coming out. Everyday this repeats, and eventually all swarm of zombies are created. Evil indeed, but it's created by us human. Sometimes dreams also involves listening to people's advices, heeding advices, and regretting it. Perhaps those dreams are meant to teach me a lesson.
4) Music
Not surprising to have music-related dreams, because music holds strong links with my emotions. Had many dreams related to musical competitions like SYF or auditions. Those are pretty similar to 'Exams', because its just strange events happening to make me underperform. Occassionally I also get comments like 'You think you're talented in music but you're not.'. Sometimes such dreams make me doubt my own abilty. Sometimes it motivates me to train harder, sometimes it makes me feel like giving up everything. Other music related dreams includes seeing someone play an original composition on the piano and I'm trying to memorize everything. When I woke up, I attempted to play it again and it sounded nice.
Other music related dreams involves looking at others play music and learning from them secretly. Those kind of dreams are rewarding because it gets me into the mood of figuring out techniques and strives for perfection. Motivating indeed.
5) Taekwondo
Yes it's a recurring dream, but not constrained within one period. The most recent dream related to Taekwondo is probably last week. Generally involves taking part in tournaments, and random observations that occurs in the hall or training sessions. In the most recent dream, I had to go for the tournament before going for grading. Someone taught me a new technique before the tournament and I won it. However, I failed the grading because I forgot the basics. However, most of the dreams related to taekwondo will make me wake up feeling disheartened and weak. Nevertheless, Taekwondo is not something I'm very proud of, because I'm not good at it. But it's just my childhood passion. Has the passion ever died?
6) Crime
Interestingly, I have many dreams related to being the justice side and the crime side. I guess all those fancy events came from the Hong Kong dramas I watched. Most of the time it's rather emotional as well, when I form bonds with people from the 'bad' side. Sometimes it just involves people hunting me down for don't know what reasons, and they are equiped with guns. So it's like a hide-and-seek game.
7) People I know
Of course. But I think it's not special to talk about. It can be school life, work life, whatever. Sometimes it involves not meeting expectations of teachers, being left out by friends (being in a group of friends but ignored), people who are important to me leaving me or say hurtful stuff to me, nostalgic old times. Well I better stop before I stop quoting names.
8) Death
I had dreamt of my own death several times. Especially recurring during my JC days too. I guess my JC days was the peak of my dream adventure. Involves suicide, getting killed by best friend/mother.. There's even one night where I died three times. Also involves death of people I know too, and people who are close to me. Death is a serious thing, it means no more hope of anything. Perhaps it's asking me to start treasuring my own life and the people around.
This can go on and on and I won't be able to stop. It's the first time I've attempted to summarize major themes in my dreams and it's a pretty rewarding process, because many dreams are meant to teach me a lesson. Of course, some details were omited due to them being too personal. If I wish to return to this post to update, I will.
Full stop at 7:43 AM.
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